Score: 10

"I'm full of spite."

submission: Your Mom is Dead pt.1

date: January 14, 2008

Seriously. I am so incredibly disillusioned with humanity and natural selection- all thanks to the internet, by the way- I'm giving this a perfect score just to spit in the collective face of humanity.
I also thought it was cute and funny, but I'm mostly giving it a perfect score out of sheer hatred for my fellow man, who is a dumbass. Probably a pedophile, too.

-Tabris

Score: 5

"This is coming from a writer..."

submission: United Hollywood

date: January 9, 2008

The Writer's Guild can go straight to Hell. I agree wholehearted with sockmess down there. Anyone who sees a picket line in front of some big building- and the protesters don't have any ethnic slurs or anything on their signs- assumes it's the little guy standing up to a big, mean corporation that people like them helped become so big in the first place by buying their products and whatnot. Strikes have been reduced to nothing more than temper tantrums. This is nothing more than a bunch of writers holding their breaths till they turn blue because if you aren't making millions, you're somehow below the poverty line.
This strike is an insult to every person who striked for REAL, SIGNIFIGANT changes, and anyone who supports this strike should be ashamed. For God's sake, you're supporting the people who brought us "Cavemen"! "CAVEMEN"! You might as well be supporting Hitler...
Oh, and the movie itself wasn't anything remarkable. Something clever and satirical would have worked better.

-Tabris

Score: 9

"9 out of 11 stars!"

submission: I Hate America

date: January 4, 2008

...Wow. And this was made just a year after 9/11. Man, even I didn't get that disillusioned that fast! But yes, this does say something about us as a people, as does everyone who gives it an automatic zero just for point out we, as Americans, are not somehow super dee-duper. The science isn't in just yet, but I'm fairly sure geographical location doesn't quite equal moral superiority.
...You just know this would score higher if it were about people in Dafur being killed by AIDS-infected blood diamonds...

-Tabris

Score: 9

"Steve Irwin > Thousands of soldiers and Iraqis"

submission: Steve: Irwin is Dead!

date: September 28, 2007

It is a well known fact that the most malicious animal on Earth is the stingray. It's lust for violent murder and child rape knows no bound! Worse still, what am I supposed to watch now? Shows on that CW thing?
Let us all not learn anything from Steve Irwin or Moby Dick and constantly take revenge on entire species of animals.

-Tabris

Score: 9

"words"

submission: Gay Banana: Episode 1!

date: September 28, 2007

This teaches us all a valuable lesson about revenge: That it's fun and we should all do it! I'm going to go revenging right now!

-Tabris

Score: 1

"Isn't this bordering on copyright infringment?"

submission: Disgaea: Episode 3

date: September 27, 2007

This is utterly unnecessary, unoriginal, and...un-something else! You basically took the cutscenes from the game (or maybe not, couldn't bear continue after hearing Laharl), and put some whore make-up on it. A flash cartoon would have been a great idea, but this is only slightly more animated that the game's cutscenes, and the voice acting's worse.
But still, it's better than Disgaea 2.

-Tabris

Score: 10

"Sexual-Swiss"

submission: Gender-Neutral

date: September 23, 2007

"Gender-Neutral"? More like "Gender-Chaotic Good with two handed weapon proficiency and a bonus to charisma at level up"!

-Tabris

Score: 10

"Why do I keep giving 10/10s?"

submission: Duck and Cover!

date: September 23, 2007

This is both informaltion AND endertainmentingtion. Atomic bombs can be scary- like colored people- but as this amazing moving picture show with sounds tells us, if you drop to the groud and cover your duck, neither megaton blasts nor radiation nor ethnics can rape you and give you Communist child who listens to the rock and roll music.

-Tabris

Score: 10

"It's okay for kids to violate copyright laws."

submission: Hero Coryal Halloween '05

date: September 23, 2007

Entertaining AND contains an important message about diabetes! I'd give this an 11/10...but I can't. The next movie I review is just gonna have to bite the bullet and accept a 1/10 to balance things out.

-Tabris

Score: 10

"Pretend something clever is here."

submission: Arfenhouse: The Movie

date: September 22, 2007

This movie had everything! Pictures, sounds, colors, EVERYTHING! 10/10, because I'm easily impressed!

-Tabris